It's 12am, Now What

We all do it. Different cities offer different venues of where to buy it. Different cultures crave different forms of it. But walking home late at night in the still and humid air it is abundantly clear, sugar never will lose it savor! The making of this post pays homage to it!

Props to anyone who knows these songs. Good luck!

This was for Leslie because she was so patient with me being gone so late.

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE SMACKWALL!

When this first came out I was like "hmmm...ah..no." One year later, the summer of 2009 I was hooked and upset that I missed a whole season's worth of pain-issuing episodes!

Now, sheer pandemonium fills my soul whenever the fury of the sweeper arm or the four uncrossable big red balls unleashes a little "slice of heaven," as Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs might say, upon some wary contestants, who I would trade places with in a heartbeat! If you don't know what I am talking about go to hulu.com and type in Wipeout.

Of course all the collisions, jumps, bumps, hits, punches, demoralizing falls are an essential part to this fun show. Unfortunately, many think Wipeout is just brutality, well, it is, but it is more.With John and John hosting this show it gives the viewer a great, quick-witted assessment to every situation so that you are never bored. An excellent gauge of this humor is as follows:

If Wipeout were an SAT question it be like pan is to burner as humor is to
a) Mortal Kombat
b) Streets of Rage II
c) Carebears
d) Wipeout
e) All the above

Very tricky question, but hey, that's the SAT for you, obviously d) is the right answer.

However, even if John and John weren't there hilarity would still ensue. Case in point:

Below is another classic interview from a June 29, 2010 episode complete with the comedy stylings of John Henson. The interviewee has a classic laugh until he realizes the joke:

Of course getting the wipeouts in small doses as a viewer is one thing, but no one ever just bought a 2 liter of Dr. Pepper and only had a glass, so what about a gluttony of punishments doled every second. I think John Henson just said "MONTAGE" beginning with a word from a crazy person:

I can admit it, I love watching people biff it, after all the show is Wipeout. However, there are some incredible feats of athleticism that I must commend and love to see happen.

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THE SWEEPER ARM

In May of 2009 when I started liking the show, I won't lie, I totally applied for the show where they ask a bunch of questions about you.

For example "What is the weirdest thing about you?" or "If you were going to be in People magazine, what inside info about you would be put up next to your picture?" and the classic "Describe your most embarrassing moment." The bad news, they still haven't called me...

I can end this post with an admonition to watch and enjoy Wipeout and as John Henson was long to say, "Goodnight and Big Balls."

HOT DOG EATING CHAMPIONSHIP 2010 at Coney Island for MLE - Major League Eating

Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs began holding Fourth of July hot dog-eating contests on Coney Island in 1916. Today this contest is considered the Super Bowl of competitive eating." ---How Stuff Works.com

The world's wonderment fell upon Joey Chestnut after setting a record breaking consumption of eating 68 hotdogs in ten minutes. Leslie became obsessed with this after watching it last year by happenstance flipping through channels at the gym. That 10 minutes seared into her brain something glorious and now one year later we found ourselves not more than 10 feet away in front of the savage beast named Joey Chestnut.

We arrived at 7:30-8am at Coney Island, well before the 12:30pm start. It was killer hot.

There was surprisingly not many people there at 7:30am. But the crazies started coming, trickling in...

Oh yeah, then the band started. 

Hot dog man and his crew were there to represent as well as this photographer, decked out in a military regalia type vest, he came to party.

Then there was some dudes on a trampoline and thousands of people all of the sudden.

Finally, the announcer introduces the contestants and one by one they come out. There is a slight pause and then, amid all the roars and cheering a hero emerges, and the announcer exclaims almost victoriously, "A MAN WHO NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION!!! JOEY CHESNUT!!!" and everyone goes crazy and "USA, USA, USA" chants ring out, horns going off and he shakes his judges' hands and then the countdown procedes.

The countdown:

What ensued after this can only be described as "FREEKING AMAZING!" Who knew someone could do this to their body and live. I mean this is different than a Kobe Bryant or a Michael Phelps, this was serious mustard. Talk about a great American. Joey is apple pie American times a quantity of 50.

I was so close that very easily you could see food particles were going everywhere and you could see them controlling their gag reflex.

Joey describes it this way, "It's weird, because we're actually working, pushing our body and using muscles. I'm using muscles in my jaw, my throat, my esophagus, all the way down to my stomach. I'm trying to push everything down to the bottom. I'm jumping up and down, sweating like a madman."

That 10 minutes went by so  fast, unbelievably fast! It was like like watching a triple overtime basketball game that had no breaks or commericals, just pure, raw action! WOW! Leslie snapped some good ones:

Finally, Joey was victorious

Also, I got the Nathan's Mustard and Ketchup from the Competition. An airloom to be handed down for generations.

This is the 10 minute Competition:

What can we learn from Joey, these are some words of wisdom from the American hero:
Joey Chesnut, "After the Fourth of July, I'm gonna be eating a lot of barbecue. I'm looking forward to that. Sometimes, I'll get carried away and eat maybe two or three times as much as a normal person. I love chicken wings. It's not unheard of for me to order a 30-piece. ... But after I've rewarded myself for training, I'll get back onto a normal diet. Just once in a while, I'll get carried away. And once in a while, I'll forget to eat. I've practiced ignoring the feelings of hunger and being full for so long, I don't even feel them anymore."

I don't know when it happened or how, but I do know that one of the greatest sports in the world is Major League Eating.

Too Many Reality Shows got you Down

Too much intensity exists in reality shows, which is the reason they sell so well. However, it's nice to have a good laugh and the quote "I didn't come here too make friends" does just that. Enjoy!

Never would have guessed this happened to me...

It was another ho-hum day on a lunch break. However, the streets on Broadway always hold something spectacular, even if you are not interested in it, you still check it out. On my jaunt I noticed a small staging area and many passing by and cameras flashing, of course, I couldn't resist:

I went full bravado in the picture, thinking, well will I ever get to pose for Sex and the City 2 and represent Jessica blah blah again, probably not. Obviously I'm a huge fan since I knew one of the three names, but I'm an even bigger fan of t-shirts, to which I won a Sex and the City 2 shirt for Leslie. I am sure my house cleaning rag bag will be glad for the new contribution!

Love me some Technology

Dude, I got some awesome bluetooth headphones. They work great too!

So any computer can have this little guy installed on it by plugging it into a usb port and downloading a driver. You can walk anywhere in the house and still be listening to whatever it is you were watching. Of course it can be paired with a cell phone that has bluetooth since it has a microphone.

So Leslie uses them to watch netflix on one computer monitor and I get to do my homework on the other monitor. However, it doesn't always work, for instance I am writing this blog when I should be working on my homework. The downside is that I don't get to listen to Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix Watch Instantly.

Unfortunately, the show is awesome and I find myself drifting over to it, occasionally seeing some hilarious images whenever Leslie laughs really hard. Here is one:

Pictured above, Buffy's Mom with a vamp taking their self-portrait. He is so excited, that smile!

Crystal, this is for you:

Part 2: Cats on a plane

Cell phone pics are a quentesential part of our life. Last time I brought you my insights to the Bronx, as well as how I helped a young man come to terms with his father's passing (it's about being in the right place at the right time).

I'm dedicating this post to all the animals out there in NYC.

Years ago in the concrete jungles of a Mesa desert a rhythmic cat caught stride in one of his favorite things ever. While other cats found joys in the simple things of life like chasing a ball, mice, and chinchillas he found that a simple bowl of corn cat food was quite enjoyable. Young Whicket has taken to food like an angry Bob Barker to Happy Gilmore's face.

Years ago he was like this, but even then there were hints of his hidden obsession:

However, more recently here's what he's been up to:

We think it has to do with portion size.

--------------

During my time on the streets many things surface and well, here they are:

This guy was in the flower store window

This golden retriever couldn't be happier

While I was in the "Everything 99 cents Or More" store

Another store...

People here park there animals like horses in the 1800s

Still not a horse, but similar treatment. This cat is our super's, he also has the same condition as Whickett.

I don't know what was going on here

I'll never forget this experience of "Cats on a Plane," as Leslie coined it. When I flew to NY in Sept. 09 I took my cats on the plane to move here by myself. I ended up getting another carrier, which gave Whickett the space he needed so he could complain for 8 hours straight. I gave him so much tranquilizer medicine I'm surprised he didn't pass out, which was actually my hope since I tried to triple the dosage on him but to no avail.

He was a little slice of heaven that whole trip

Awww yes, that trip was one for the books...

PART 1 Too Much of a Good Thing: STAIR CASE OF DOOM

Every once in a while it is good to go through old camera shots, because, well what else would I do with them if I didn't. It is cleansing and sometimes a cathartic experience to go through history this way. But, ultimately its best to share. I would ask the same.

1) Cat food, kitty litter and a few weeks of groceries, hmmm, how would you get these home after a Costco/BJs trip? My blasted cart is my blessing and curse. You might think that this is a Grama in a jacket, no it's me in 20 degree weather.
----It goes like this: roll it to the bus, carry it up the steps, carry it off the bus, and carry it down two flights of stairs. This gets me to the subway, but just for good measure, I carry it down another flight of stairs to the platform. Booyah! By this time it just feels like a good workout. Well, then its back up a flight, roll it to an exit and then 1/3 mile push home.

After this experience we will only ever use taxis to come back, I insist.


2) STAIR CASE OF DOOM I got lost in the Bronx once and ended up walking back to Manhattan. Looking back I should have just gotten back on the subway from where I got on the wrong one. Everyone has had this happen, at least once, and this will never happen again. Thank goodness I had my "Not For Tourists" (NFT) Brand map showing me how to get back. It also shows grocery, liquor, and hardware stores in the city. I set off on foot at Yankee Stadium.

I ended up walking through Harlem, that was CRAZY! Two guys came up to me asking me if I knew where the liquor shop was and I was about to say no, but then...I remembered! I pulled out my NFT book and showed them with great exactness where they could go to spoil themselves...I felt proud, thinking "this new NEW YORKER can still teach regulars a thing or two."

Later on, I couldn't go north and I had to keep following a road. I noticed I was going downhill. I knew I'd eventually have to go up this embankment, but HOW? Hmmm....to get up the hill, then BOOM, there it was, the biggest staircase ever (for me anyway). I lost count.


On the other side of the staircase there were a bunch of police, fireman and emergency vehicles on a block. There were people everywhere around walking and staring at a stretcher with someone on it. I walked by many people and really wanted to ask what happened.
However, I was shy and embarrassed, but as I got to the end of the area I could take no more and had to ask. A young boy of 12-13 walked in front of me and I asked him, "Hey, do you know what happened?"

Of all the people I could have chosen, OF ALL THE PEOPLE...the boy responds, as he looked into my face, "It was my dad." Then he started moaning, "He's dead!" and again yelling, "He's dead!" He started walking off, I didn't even get to apologize, I felt horrible...

I quickly came home after. Now I admitted the misstepping of my boundaries to everyone, this is what I mean about a carthartic experience. Its good to have that out on the table.

Ending of Part 1

The SpaceSaver Email

Since we sold everything or gave it away to come to New York I forgot that accruing everything back takes a while.

Thus has been the case in our bathroom and kitchen. Things were piled on top of the other and such.

Then along came Amazon.com and its wonders for home decor and organizing. I decided that this would do a world of difference for us!

Boy I was right about, I ordered it immediately on December 29, 2009 and they gave me an estimated delivery of 1/8/10 - 1/13/09. On the 14th I was sooooo sad, I really wanted my outer space saver and so I sent them a piece of my mind:

Hello AAA Home Furniture Discounts,

 I have been eagerly awaiting my awesome Toilet Spacesaver. I have had my hand on the door knob just waiting for the UPS/Fedex delivery person to show up with my space saving product... so far, I have been sad... for it did not come yesterday 1/13/10, which was the latest estimated time. Not only have I been anticipating this, I actually have a really cluttered bathroom now that has been crying at me to help it.
 My New York apartment is only so big, and a normal person's belongings would look like a storage warehouse in my place. Thus, that is why I need this Spaceage Toilet SPACESAVER. It has been beckoning me.
 Thank you.

And they replied back:

Hi Rhett

I understand!! Certainly this will be very useful to you :) I have GOOD news this should be delivered tomorrow via FEDEX 613634130809219 Let the space saving BEGIN!! Thank you!
Warm Regards
Lea
HFD

 
I made sure to show them a little excitement and boom, they responded back, sure I coulda been mean or something, but it wouldn't have been any fun. And Lea was right, the next day it arrived.

It's weird cuz I used to get excited about all these other things...

and now I like home decor....