I AM IN LOVE WITH THE SMACKWALL!

When this first came out I was like "hmmm...ah..no." One year later, the summer of 2009 I was hooked and upset that I missed a whole season's worth of pain-issuing episodes!

Now, sheer pandemonium fills my soul whenever the fury of the sweeper arm or the four uncrossable big red balls unleashes a little "slice of heaven," as Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs might say, upon some wary contestants, who I would trade places with in a heartbeat! If you don't know what I am talking about go to hulu.com and type in Wipeout.

Of course all the collisions, jumps, bumps, hits, punches, demoralizing falls are an essential part to this fun show. Unfortunately, many think Wipeout is just brutality, well, it is, but it is more.With John and John hosting this show it gives the viewer a great, quick-witted assessment to every situation so that you are never bored. An excellent gauge of this humor is as follows:

If Wipeout were an SAT question it be like pan is to burner as humor is to
a) Mortal Kombat
b) Streets of Rage II
c) Carebears
d) Wipeout
e) All the above

Very tricky question, but hey, that's the SAT for you, obviously d) is the right answer.

However, even if John and John weren't there hilarity would still ensue. Case in point:

Below is another classic interview from a June 29, 2010 episode complete with the comedy stylings of John Henson. The interviewee has a classic laugh until he realizes the joke:

Of course getting the wipeouts in small doses as a viewer is one thing, but no one ever just bought a 2 liter of Dr. Pepper and only had a glass, so what about a gluttony of punishments doled every second. I think John Henson just said "MONTAGE" beginning with a word from a crazy person:

I can admit it, I love watching people biff it, after all the show is Wipeout. However, there are some incredible feats of athleticism that I must commend and love to see happen.

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THE SWEEPER ARM

In May of 2009 when I started liking the show, I won't lie, I totally applied for the show where they ask a bunch of questions about you.

For example "What is the weirdest thing about you?" or "If you were going to be in People magazine, what inside info about you would be put up next to your picture?" and the classic "Describe your most embarrassing moment." The bad news, they still haven't called me...

I can end this post with an admonition to watch and enjoy Wipeout and as John Henson was long to say, "Goodnight and Big Balls."

HOT DOG EATING CHAMPIONSHIP 2010 at Coney Island for MLE - Major League Eating

Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs began holding Fourth of July hot dog-eating contests on Coney Island in 1916. Today this contest is considered the Super Bowl of competitive eating." ---How Stuff Works.com

The world's wonderment fell upon Joey Chestnut after setting a record breaking consumption of eating 68 hotdogs in ten minutes. Leslie became obsessed with this after watching it last year by happenstance flipping through channels at the gym. That 10 minutes seared into her brain something glorious and now one year later we found ourselves not more than 10 feet away in front of the savage beast named Joey Chestnut.

We arrived at 7:30-8am at Coney Island, well before the 12:30pm start. It was killer hot.

There was surprisingly not many people there at 7:30am. But the crazies started coming, trickling in...

Oh yeah, then the band started. 

Hot dog man and his crew were there to represent as well as this photographer, decked out in a military regalia type vest, he came to party.

Then there was some dudes on a trampoline and thousands of people all of the sudden.

Finally, the announcer introduces the contestants and one by one they come out. There is a slight pause and then, amid all the roars and cheering a hero emerges, and the announcer exclaims almost victoriously, "A MAN WHO NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION!!! JOEY CHESNUT!!!" and everyone goes crazy and "USA, USA, USA" chants ring out, horns going off and he shakes his judges' hands and then the countdown procedes.

The countdown:

What ensued after this can only be described as "FREEKING AMAZING!" Who knew someone could do this to their body and live. I mean this is different than a Kobe Bryant or a Michael Phelps, this was serious mustard. Talk about a great American. Joey is apple pie American times a quantity of 50.

I was so close that very easily you could see food particles were going everywhere and you could see them controlling their gag reflex.

Joey describes it this way, "It's weird, because we're actually working, pushing our body and using muscles. I'm using muscles in my jaw, my throat, my esophagus, all the way down to my stomach. I'm trying to push everything down to the bottom. I'm jumping up and down, sweating like a madman."

That 10 minutes went by so  fast, unbelievably fast! It was like like watching a triple overtime basketball game that had no breaks or commericals, just pure, raw action! WOW! Leslie snapped some good ones:

Finally, Joey was victorious

Also, I got the Nathan's Mustard and Ketchup from the Competition. An airloom to be handed down for generations.

This is the 10 minute Competition:

What can we learn from Joey, these are some words of wisdom from the American hero:
Joey Chesnut, "After the Fourth of July, I'm gonna be eating a lot of barbecue. I'm looking forward to that. Sometimes, I'll get carried away and eat maybe two or three times as much as a normal person. I love chicken wings. It's not unheard of for me to order a 30-piece. ... But after I've rewarded myself for training, I'll get back onto a normal diet. Just once in a while, I'll get carried away. And once in a while, I'll forget to eat. I've practiced ignoring the feelings of hunger and being full for so long, I don't even feel them anymore."

I don't know when it happened or how, but I do know that one of the greatest sports in the world is Major League Eating.